The victim card | Ways of the Force

fell a victim by dj HazeWhen one talks  about playing the victim as if everything seems to happen to  them and they had no hand in the events whatsoever, this is because it’s easier to blame someone else than to accept responsibility for their  own actions. So it’s an easy way out to play the victim card. In general victims, like abuse victims, will be hesitant to play this card because they don’t like what it says about them and how people react to it , they fear being blamed for what happened themselves. It takes a lot of discernment to figure out if someone is a legitimate victim or just playing the victim card that is why i am trying to describe as honestly as i can about this problem which seems to occur in the Jedi community even , people not taking responsibility and blame it all on others or their disabilities and restrictions in life. I know i have been guilty of feeling sorry for myself lately being beaten , rejected and feeling unwanted but there is a difference in feeling sorry for yourself and playing the victim card over and over again.

It’s easier to say “well I was depressed”to explain aloof behaviour  than to own up to the depression and deal with it and fight through it. A lot of people would rather blame others or blame their mental illness than deal with their own issues and the consequences of them. It’s a very unhealthy way of dealing with life’s issues that usually begins at a very young age and becomes a passive (agressive?) survival strategy.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family i can see how tempting it is to play the victim card , i see family members play that card over and over again , they excel at it , as they excel in ignoring my appeals to them to grow up and take responsibility of their own lifes. I try to show empathy as i know that they are stuck in this way of thinking and that it’s hard for them to let go and take control of their lives.  But to be brutally honest , i did not expect to see this in the Jedi community. And it seems to be thriving as well and that worries me.

As Jedi we are geeks that like to save the world , we stand up for the weak and defend the helpless , we move unhindered by what other people think of us , we make videos , write blogs to inspire others , we move freely and work on our disabilities , we face our dragons and demons so we can help others face theirs , we cry , get angry , fall down , feel sorry , whine and we get up again. We are the voice of reason within a very fickle and mentally unstable world. Some create websites , teach others , build an empire of Jedi out to Serve …Servizio, Cura, Rispetto

People with a victim identity are unbecoming as Jedi, they take themselves and their restrictions very seriously , and sometimes i understand that , i want to escape my responsibilities regularly. The things that people with a victim identity tell themselves are rigid and they restrict their growth even more , they don’t reach for the stars and excell , and the dangerous thing is , they blame you if you do. More than once i have been told not to expect others to live up to my Jedi standards and their resentment seeped through their words. It’s never their fault when they fail. But that will never stop me from helping by kicking some ass and telling you to reach for the stars and start taking responsibility for your own life.

 

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Lets talk about sex | Ways of the Force

talksWhen you meet someone online , after a while you like to get to know eachother better, i appreciate that , understand that. But what i did not understand is the need to talk about sex online. Seeing sex as a deeply spiritual experience or a learning experience , it’s something that i would rather talk about in person. If it’s a one night stand , or a deeply life long commitment , sex is a way of expressing your need to be one with someone else, even if that is showing that by exchanging bodyfluids in a bush near school , or after a good drinking binge with your friends.Please understand that i don’t think there is anything wrong with casual sex , that is not the point. The point i guess  is the useless exchange of very intimate details off one’s desires with someone you are probably not going to meet in real life , an internet affaire.

As a believer in the Force , i  can see how you meet someone and fall in love , or , just want sex , even casual , that you both need this and that nothing can stop you. There is nothing wrong with that. I guess i don’t understand why i should have to exchange these things online. Maybe it’s because i don’t understand people getting aroused by that kind of talk , it only has effect on me when you whisper it  in in my ears. Maybe i don’t understand the online generation at all. You know , i am probably just too old loll.

And as a believer in the Force i can see that i had to learn a thing or two about the men online. It took me a long time to figure that one out. Although, i have only been online really for 2 years dabbling in online communities. First , men are hardly ever who they say they are , if they are , cherish them , they are rare. Second , there is the type that will start about sex in the third sentence and there is the type that never will. Third , i learned that if people don’t want to meet me in real life, i am not really that interested in them anymore, i know the distance is often a deal breaker but still , come on , i don’t live on another planet do i , and neither do you. And if it’s really impossible to meet there is always videochat.

And lastly , i have met some really wonderful people online that i love to chat with and that i love as much as my real life friends , they are precious to me.

I realise that the Jedi community is something that is mainly online , but i have noticed, and i don’t want to offend anyone or degrade the experience but that is not really my thing. Having seen people really being damaged by what goes on in online communities , i have concluded and decided to keep some things to myself , or , to put it better , i have decided to share some things only with people , face to face.  And with sex , like so many things in my life , i don’t really like to talk about it that much  😉

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Gossip | Ways of the Force

gossip-pop-art-men“Using the analogy of the human mind as a computer, gossip can be compared to a computer virus. A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same language all the other codes are written in, but with a harmful intent.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

When you gossip you  casually talk about other people’s  personal affairs and situations.The word gossip in itself already explains that it’s not just talking about someone , but talking about someone with a certain intent, even if you are just sharing things that really happened , it’s the intent you share it with that matters and it can lead to bad mouthing of someone behind their backs, based on false accusations and lies. Usually the second follows the first when the first one does not have the desired effect.

Human conversation can be a powerful tool. It can also be a very destructive weapon. How we decide to talk about others can be productive or very counterproductive. We decide every day how we talk about others , do we give constructive feedback or do we take them down with our words?  How do we say it , what is your intent when you share information about others? The destructive power of gossip is a reality to be dealt with.

Gossip is not innocent , it can ruin a reputation ,destroy friendships, lead to bullying  humiliate and demean, exclude people , make them feel miserable and ruin trust between people and ruin trust in people in general. We can teach ourselves as Jedi to not say anything that you would not say to the person in question , that if we hear slander about ourselves or others to go to the source and confront the person gossipping, ask questions. We can caution others to speak kindly of others and speak of others kindly ourselves.We all have different perceptions about others , and very often we don’t understand what people are about , or why they do certain things. It’s tempting to find allies against someone like that , and it can be very satisfying to badmouth someone , but like many things , its a negative way of dealing with others and the way they are.

Thinking of how you would like others to see you and talk about you always seems to help for me. Treat others how you want to be treated yourself , no ..treat them better!

 

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Free will | Ways of the Force

free will“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

 

 

I like to think  Free will is the ability to choose between different possible courses of action.Free will is mainly a state of mind, wishful thinking even.In this society it’s hard to uphold free will as we would like to see it ourselves. I do believe in free thoughts , the power of the mind that can overcome difficulties and things that stand in the way of our bliss. I see free will as a way out of chains of society , as a way of staying on the path that we want to pursue. I also think we have a destiny and the will to follow or discard the path set out for us.

In the Hero’s journey we see that the journey often starts with freeing oneself from the mindset of the surroundings we grow up in , we form our own thoughts and leave the safe haven of being lived and start living ourselves. Our thoughts are Free , but our will has to be very strong and overcome difficulties to be free as well.

There are complications though, free will and free speech are being used in a poor moral concept due to ignorance and lack of empathy. Even though i am a protagonist of free speech and free will , i try as much as i can to consider the effect of my actions and words on other people. But then again , sometimes people need to be shaken up a little don’t they?  It’s important  though not to cross other people’s boundaries , poor moral conduct always lies in ignorance and that is not what free will is about.

In some religious streams Free will is considered the cause of suffering , and is used to explain why God tolerates suffering and misery. But I am more on C.S. Lewis side who says: “Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself.” Suffering is a part of life and i can see how free will can be the cause of suffering within because you take a risk every time you practice free will.

To me the important point of free will is that it gives me a choice , even a limited choice is a choice , even a bad choice is a choice , even to do nothing is a choice, It can give us a choice between dark and light.  It gives us the responsibility that we need to grow up and become what we are meant to be. It also gives us the choice to do the right thing even against all odds. I truly believe we do have a free will , especially against all odds.

 

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Guardians | Ways of the Force

Rogue-One-Star-Wars-Story-Chirrut-Imwe-KyberThis past May the Fourth my family and I decided to watch Rogue One.  It’s actually one of my favorite Star Wars movies, because for once it focuses on non-Jedi characters.  Yet, amongst the Force-blind, there are guardians. Guardians of the Whills, to be specific.

Their name is only mentioned in passing, but there is a mystique there that struck me once more as I re-watched the movie.  Seeing Chirrut Imwe, the blind Asian character who makes short work of surrounding stormtroopers, inspired me in a way that I couldn’t put my finger on until 10 days later. Having read part of the book Guardians of the Whills, it is made clear that Imwe is no Jedi.  Yet, like the Jedi of real life, he cannot touch the Force, cannot use it as a Jedi would.  He cannot even see.  Yet he strives to feel it, however fleetingly, to be at one with his surroundings and the beings he finds himself amongst.

There is a lesson here that I feel the Jedi Realists and Jediists can learn from.  To be blunt, we are not Jedi. Not in the truest sense of the word. We have no Force powers, can barely draw on it for strength and focus.  However, we hold sacred a knowledge of its existence. We are guardians of this knowledge, passing it on to the next generation whenever possible.

If we are to be honest with ourselves and others, it may be time to admit that, though we strive to feel the Force just as Imwe does, our job as followers of the Force is to maintain its deep history, to preserve its legacy, not necessarily to be keepers of the peace and of justice.  We don’t have lightsabers. We can’t use telekinesis. We can’t see the future. What we can do, however, is be guardians of the Force.  This makes us no less important to the world—in fact it may make us more important—yet if we continue to delude ourselves into thinking we can ever live up to the legends of the Jedi, we will be sorely disappointed.  Perhaps we may even be taken more seriously if we drop the Jedi title.

I can tell you what I believe I am now.  I am no longer a Jedi. I’ve known this for some time, but never had a word to replace it.  I am a Guardian. Should people be inspired by this idea, then I believe we can enter a new age, in which the Jedi can end their futile endeavor to be superheroes, and instead be humble servants of the Force, guarding the knowledge provided us by previous generations of guardians.

I believe that we Jedi have simply been mistaken in the view of our role in this world.  Or perhaps it’s simply a misunderstanding of labels. All I really know is who I am. And when you start to become who you are, the first thing you realize is that there is nothing to fear.

The Force is with me, and I am One with the Force.

—Streen (Guardian of the Whills)

 

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Are you looking for trouble ? | Ways of the Force

conflict Trouble seemed to be my middle name, never understood why trouble used to follow me around like a puppy  wherever I went. It’s so hard to shut up when there is injustice and  difficult not to act on other people’s behalf when you know it can help them or even stop the problem. The challenge  however is to learn people to stand up for themselves and to teach them to take care of their own business , so they don’t get into trouble so easy. On the other side , learning not to get involved if things feel wrong is a great tactic  , but it can hold you  and others back from learning a lesson , facing it head on seems to  be scarier but better in the long run. Many find it hard to do the right thing , even in the Jedi community , they avoid it. Because of fear , fear to cause conflict, fear of confrontation. Others are too provocative , too confronting , i think the answers lay in the middle somewhere …seeking balance, respect , empathy in conflict.

This world is filled with injustice and pain and heartbreak. I cannot say yet that I don’t look for trouble  at all, i mean the existence of this blog for instance. Many battles used to come to me in my work as a Social Worker so there was no shortage of learning moments and moments where I could  be of value , but sometimes I do take up the sword of the Law and wave it around and expose wrongdoings, and I do stamp on the floor till I get my own way ( mostly the way of the Law anyway ). Very passionate as I am. I do get into trouble sometimes and still have a lot to learn. Because as Jedi we are not meant to cause harm. I am overprotective and can be aggressive at times , and that is seeking trouble , I know I know , still learning .. The important thing to realise is that even if we are not perfect we can all learn to be a light , a real light , calm , strong , in control , even tall ..if we dare.

The Jedi seems to blossom during trouble , that is true , tackling trouble and getting to its source can be a very enlightening and growing experience in which we learn more about ourselves and the way we confront trouble in our lives and in the lives of others. And if we are open to the lessons we learn to deal with conflict better. 



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What is the Master? | Ways of the Force

By:  Wescli Wardest

   It is always interesting to me to watch as people try to describe qualities or traits they assign to someone as they would a thing. I have seen and read people talking about masters being stoic or in touch with their emotional experience or wise or whatever.  Always seems to be the traits they wish to acquire or for others to see in them one day. In short, another mask.

jedi_master_by_artificialdesign-d7hi2pw

   Rather than assigning traits to something one obviously doesn’t understand ask yourself, “who” is the master?  I will tell you right now that every actual, real master I have ever met, read about or heard about knows that they are not “the Master.”  It is just a mask or role one plays for another that needs the Master in their lives at that point in time. One takes on the role. It is not some mythical state of being where one is endowed with some supernatural understanding or power.  It is a relationship. The master cannot assert his authority on another because the role has no inherent authority independent of the student or apprentice. It is the student or apprentice that grants that authority to the role.

There are people in the world, for whatever reason, will present themselves as wise.  They may be smart, experienced, clever, silver tongued, charming or seem to have some authority.   These are what I like to refer to as false gurus. There are many TV evangelist that fit this build.  They will tell you how they are just instruments and have no power or authority yet will condemn, preach and bless with absolute conviction with all the skill of the Accuser himself. Confusing those they prey on to joining their belief system and causes.  I would caution everyone… if someone tells you that they can give you and answer, show you the way or correct your path… tell you how you should see or view something or how one way thought or belief is right over another then buyer beware. If someone tells you the qualities a master should possess or what to look for to identify a master, they are most likely setting you up to buy something. Usually, justifying why you should believe them to be your master.

   Good examples of Masters can easily be found in Star Wars.  Go and look, see if Obi-Wan Kenobi ever introduces himself as Master.  Or Qui-gon Jinn? Or Yoda? Or any of the Masters! Others will refer to them as master.  And others will refer to Knights as Master. Anyone ever catch that? Sure, within the Jedi Order there is a rank that is called Master.  And that is bestowed on the individual by their peers. It is never something that is cast on oneself. And if one has this title or relationship, they do not flaunt it, refer to themselves by it or explain their qualities to others for them to associate them by the term.  I wonder why that is? Look at the Obi-wan Anakin relationship. Annikin calls Obi-wan master before Obi-wan is on the Jedi Council. And other Jedi just refer to him as Obi-wan. Again, this shows the relationship of authority and who is granting who the authority over them.

And now we need to look at ourselves and what is Master in our lives.  What is it that you give authority over you? What is your master? And, who are the Masters that you know of?  Are they “your” Master? Or are they master to someone else? And do they expect you to treat them as their student or apprentices do?  Would they be your Master? The world is full of illusion because of the masks people wear. See past the mask! Know yourself, and be aware.

About Wescli Wardest : I was asked to write, “An introduction about who you are and what Mook is about, just a few lines.”  So, who am I? I am really just a guy. I am… me! LOL I suppose people might want more than that though.  So I can tell you things that I have done and/or the position I hold at MOoK. First, what is MOoK? It is the Monastic Order of Knights. What is that you ask?  Well, it is an order that is similar (and different) from other Jedi sites.  We focus on the individuals growth through self-exploration and service to others.  Our beliefs are stated on our homepage

“In a unifying force, and the sanctity of all life.

In a society that does not discriminate.

In the separation of religion and government.

In a society governed by laws grounded in reason and compassion, not in fear or prejudice.

In the opposition to the use of punishments that are cruel and or excessive to include torture.

In an absolute morality not defined by the influence of ethics, culture, religion or changes over time.

In the importance of freedom, conscience and self-determination within all structures.

And the positive influence of spiritual growth and awareness on society.”

And this common belief is core to what we do.

Now, back to who I am.  Well, that can really only be determined by getting to know me.  But the office I hold at MOoK is Knight Commander. That is like the president of the organization. 

art: Jedi Master by Artificialdesign

 

 

 

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