“Doing the right thing for others means helping those in need. Being with them as equals in solidarity is important too rather than behaving in an one-up or superior position. While we perhaps are more likely to volunteer or help others during the holiday season starting with Thanksgiving, we might want to consider doing so year round. It’s the right thing to do for others and it’s the right thing to do for ourselves as well.” Thomas G. Plante Ph.D.,
I was very much drawn to this article by Plante in the Psychology Today magazine. Seriously wondering if i was of any use to anyone i started doubting if i was really being helpful or of service of those around me. And while i do voluntary work and take care of my mother as best as i can, i still feel that i fall short and i feel selfish when i do things for myself. Helping others feels good and very often makes me feel good about myself. But that should not be the motivation to help others should it? As altruistic is we want to be , we can only give so much. It’s important to reload and take good care of yourself.
One important aspect of helping others is that it builds character , by doing the right thing for others you are also more inclined to do the right thing for yourself. But then, when do we help? A few days ago i found myself giving advice to a fellow Jedi who has been through a lot when she was younger and after i did that i wondered. Did i help , or did i make it worse for her? It’s often hard to say the right thing even if you DO the right thing, in this case standing by another Jedi. I wanted to help her make a decision and now i worry that i made it worse because the pain of her not being able to do that could well be flared up by what i said. It’s difficult. We want to do the right thing and often we do, but the incident has made me realise and made me aware to choose my words wisely and be more emphatic.
When you help others you become more emphatic when you show empathy to others. You feel better about yourself and others and you manage conflict situations a lot better. So even if your help is not appreciated and people tell you to bugger off and mind your own business, you are more able to deal with that because , well you want to do the right thing. And when the right thing is to leave someone be , that is fine as well.
When i was making a meal for homeless people and we were feeding them , some shouted at us , names that i will not repeat here. We fed them anyway , sometimes you have to do the right thing in those circumstances. Your perspective changes when you help the less fortunate , not only can you see the trivia that are going on in your own life but even if you are worse of than the ones you are helping , you know you are not alone. We must be careful though that we don’t expect the ones that we help to share our views , to them , the world is coming to an end and they don’t feel well at all. It takes time and patience for them to deal with the disappointments of life. And that is where the Jedi can be of help because we have an abundance of patience right?